hungry

leaving staying going coming rainbow sprinkle. sooty fingerprints blood on my hands foie gras knowing the truth no in the truth lie behind the eyes in her arms my arm burnt bruised but not broken. a freezer full of chilli and ice cubes in the fire. one of many the only one. running away to hide and find the reality that doesn't exist. art is love is pain is art. sad tears through the laughter mocking. i have a farthing. and a threepence. i need you to not cry when i tell you i'm going i need you to cry. weakness in the strength of the emotion. post on the mat. afraid of not being scared. scratching the surface until it bleeds only to find nothing. an excercise in english class psychology. write write write write write write write write to discover yourself and plunge the depths of nothingness. mothering to save caring for yourself myself. don't want to eat without meaning don't want to offend his mom, her mom, eat a little of everything, even if you don't like it, i've told them your allergic to milk have a nice time dear. my best friend when i was 5 had a four poster bed. i wanted a canopy bed but had to settle for my Dad's parents like i've always had. the mattress is as old as i am.
cheddar, parmigiana, not stilton not brie. a friend a lover. mozzarella a new beginning. where can i get marmite in the City that never sleeps, the windy city? how can i make her understand. i don't understand myself.

drown sorrows in sorrows, reach for the sky and fall to the ground.